The wedding day first look - raw emotion as the couples eyes meet

As a celebrant, I am lucky enough to get to spend time with each couple in the lead up to their wedding day. Getting to know them, planning their ceremony and working out the right wording takes time and it is during this time that I usually get a real sense of who they are and how they ‘fit’ together as a couple. 

At some stage in this process we usually get the part where we either have a rehearsal or at least a run through of what will happen on the day and where everyone will stand. This is usually fun and exciting, but I have found that despite going over all the details, it in no way prepares them for the explosion of emotion and love they often feel overcome by at the very moment they see each other on the day.

The celebrant usually arrives at the venue at least half an hour in advance on the day in order to set up and prepare documents etc. In a ceremony with a bride and groom, the groom and his groomsmen are usually wandering around, greeting guests as they arrive and looking generally nervous!

As the moment draws near and tensions build, the bride finally arrives and as I usher the groom and groomsmen into position, the nerves and anticipation of the guests are palpable.

As we wait, the groomsmen are usually giving the groom grief, teasing him and making jokes, but as the bride appears from whatever direction she enters, the mood changes. All eyes are on his bride and I would have to say that in about 80 percent of cases, the groom cries. Not sobbing or bawling, but tears of joy, of gratitude and of how lucky he feels. This is particularly true when the couple have children and the children enter in front of the bride. Even the biggest, blokiest of them all usually succumb (and in fact are often the softest!) Its a beautiful moment and one that I feel so honoured to share with the couple.

Where we have two grooms or two brides, it's pretty much the same, but sometimes they will arrive together or both walk down the aisle separately and sometimes have mixed bridal parties. 

No matter what it may be, the exchange between the couple when they first see each other is magical and I feel so blessed to get to be a part of life's big moments like this.

So, make sure your photographer knows that you want to capture that moment and they are ready top snap when your eyes first meet on the aisle to becoming a married couple.

The Wedding Gurus

xxx

Your Wedding Day - How to make sure you soak it in

 

As a wedding celebrant I have the unique opportunity to be standing right there beside hundreds of couples as they take that huge leap into marriage and commit their lives, hopes and dreams to each other. 

It's an interesting vantage point because over the years it has really demonstrated to me how we all love and commit to another in our own unique way. Some couples are laughing and joking, others are teary and nervous, and others are so focussed on each other they barely notice anyone else is even there!

No matter what kind of couple you are, the most important thing is that your wedding day really reflects who you are. Sure, it's a serious occasion and you might have lots of guests there, but when those people who know and love you walk away from your wedding thinking, that was so them, then that is what really counts.

So, if you and your partner are the kind of couple who joke and tease each other, your ceremony should really have that feel. If you and your partner are serious and romantic, then that should shine through in your wedding ceremony and the vows you say to each other.

But, there's one very important thing I always try to reinforce when I'm working with couples, no matter how they intend to approach their wedding day - MAKE SURE YOU TAKE A BREATH AND SOAK IT IN. 

It is so easy to get caught up with all the noise, the details, the planning, who is where and whether everything is going to plan, but on that day, the most important thing is being there and being present with the person you love, in the moment, and committing your life to them. Even if small things go wrong, you'll still be married at the end of the day, which is the whole point of doing it!

Sometimes when I'm standing beside the groom (or the partner who is beside me) and the bride (or other partner) is about to walk down the aisle, I'll whisper, 'This is it. It's finally here. Look where you are.' and I'll hear them suck in a breath and hold it. The emotion, the excitement, the nervousness as their loved one is about to come and join them and take vows filled with promises of forever. It's a beautiful moment to be a part of and so very important for the couple.

Another opportunity to really soak it in is when signing the legal paperwork (if it's done that way in your country). The couple and celebrant go over to the signing table and the couple sit down. I often fuss around a little bit and give them a minute to chat and laugh and look at each other and then I'll say to them, Can you believe you're now married? and you see the way they look at each other in that moment. It's as if all the stress and worry melts away and their hopes and dreams and being set in motion.

There are also other opportunities to connect and bring yourself back to the moment throughout your wedding day. Every time it's feeling busy on the day, let that be a reminder to you to take a deep breath, look around you and commit it to your heart and memory. Squeeze your partners hand and let yourself feel the excitement of this life changing moment because in the coming years, and particularly in your older years, you will look back on this day and draw upon those feelings. it will become one of the defining moments of your life. 

Good luck!

The Wedding Gurus xx

 

Wedding Rituals and Traditions - Libation Ceremony

 

There are some traditions or rituals practised throughout the world which are not unique to any one culture. These rituals, while often similar in nature, may have different relevance or significance depending on the situation. This is certainly true for ‘libation’ rituals.

The term libation; ‘the pouring of a liquid offering as a religious ritual’, is a traditional part of ceremonies practised by the ancient Greeks and Romans, some African tribes and Burmese Buddhists, to name only a few. The liquid offered may be any number of substances (wine, water, oil), depending on the cultural origins of the ceremony.

Requirements: Liquid of your choice, pouring vessel.

In some African cultures, an essential part of any ceremony is the pouring of a libation. Sometimes water, but more often a traditional wine, is used for the ritual. A prayer calling all to attend and participate is given by an elder, who through this tradition, invokes both ancestors and Gods to be present.

Example: A Libation Prayer

We give praise to the Almighty power

Praise to our ancestors and the roots from which we came.

To truly know his Creator, a man must know his roots.

Let our ancestors and the spirit of the Creator bring us closer in unity.

This ceremony demonstrates the people’s recognition and obligation to their ancestors and to their Gods. The Ancient Romans were also great believers in the use of libation rituals in ceremony. The pouring of wine and perfumed oil was considered an eminent act of veneration.

Libation rituals are still found today in formal ceremonies, (eg. baptism, formal toasts and even in the launching of a ship), and in popular culture, (winning the Grand Prix or ‘drowning your sorrows’ at losing a football match).  In the United States, the term ‘tipping a forty to their memory’, involves tipping a small amount of liquid (usually liquor) from a glass before drinking, paying respect to and in memory of those no longer with us.

A Libation Ritual is a simple and practical ritual to use in a wedding ceremony.  It doesn’t cost anything extra and allows the  ‘head’ of either family, a grandmother or grandfather, the Celebrant, Best Man or anyone of the couple’s choosing to conduct the ritual and say a few words as to the sentiment behind it. A libation is a simple, yet powerful way to acknowledge and pay respect to those unable to participate; a family member separated by distance or a loved one who has passed away.

‘The two eldest members of these families have been seated in a very special place today - one on the bride’s side and one on the groom’s. They have been given pride of place at this ceremony for good reason - in the aisle, nearest the couple, to remind them that the wisdom of their elders is always within reach and close at hand.

‘I have been charged with the responsibility of offering a libation in the hope that the living and the dead, the young and the old, may come together. I pour a libation of ‘Uisge, Baugh’ (Irish Gaelic ‘The Water of Life’ - Irish Whiskey) itself a ‘spirit’, which represents stimulation, invigoration and energy. It is poured in the four directions -- North, South, East and West -- to open the way for the spirits of our ancestors and loved ones to be here with us’.

‘I call on our forebears, who stood for unity and togetherness, to stand beside us on this day, and I invite everyone present to call out the names of those who are dear to them, both ancestors and those more recently passed, in the hope that they too, will cast their love, wisdom and courage on these two people who are coming together to be married. They have, by their very presence promised to do their best to maintain this relationship and the unity of family.

May the love that has been bestowed upon you today remain with you through whatever may come and may this libation always remind you that your connections to past and present are ever near.’

The Wedding Gurus x

What music should you have for your wedding ceremony

Music is a huge part of your wedding ceremony and to be honest, it really sets the tone and feel for the day. Live music is always amazing, but for some (many) couples, money is just too tight and it can't make the budget. 

It's really important to be clear about what options are available when it comes to the use of music on your big day. 

The following options might help you out:

Option 1.  Use the celebrant's PA system. 

Most celebrants will have their own PA system for you to play your music from (be sure to ask them in your planning meeting). 

On the day and you can just bring along a phone or iPad (or whatever device you have your songs on) to plug into the PA. 

Note: with this option, you may need someone from your group to press the play and stop buttons as the celebrant will be up the front with you and not near the PA and may not have a remote control. The celebrant can easily give the person a quick run through of what to press before the ceremony starts.

If you choose to play from a device, you might want to create 3 separate playlists. This is best done using an app like Spotify premium (no ads!) and downloading the playlist to the device in case there are any wifi issues at your ceremony location.

The playlists can be put into the following categories for ease of playing.

1.     Before – this is a playlist with about 10 songs that can be played in the 30 minutes or so while guests are arriving. This sets a nice tone and feel for the ceremony.

2.     Entrance – this is the entrance song for the bride/groom and bridal party if they are entering in the traditional way. This can be 1 song or 2 if you want the bridesmaids to have a different song from the bride.

3.     Signing – this is a playlist of about 5 songs to be played while the couple and their witnesses are signing the legal documents. It allows the guest to enjoy the moment and the atmosphere.

Option 2. Instead of using the celebrant's PA system, you can bring along a portable speaker of your own to play the music. You can have a friend look after setting it up and pressing play and stop. This options also means that you can test your music etc before the big day and give the friend a run-through.

Option 3. You can book an audio person to handle all of the sound/mic stuff for the ceremony on the day. this means you can relax and not worry about a thing!

Option 4. You can hire a live musician for your ceremony. This creates a fabulous atmosphere and is the best option if you can afford it. 

No matter which option you choose, putting a bit of time and planning into your ceremony music will ensure that you and your guests really set the tone for a fun and gorgeous day.

The Wedding Gurus x

Ditch the Bridezilla and be a total Bridecess

 

Yes we made it up, but ‘Bridecess’ is our new favourite word!

... July is upon us and it has prompted our thoughts to turn to wedding trends and ideas for 2023.

 Now this may be somewhat controversial given the society we live in, our love of good drama, and the popularity of some TV shows, but it is our belief (The Wedding Gurus) that

‘Bridezilla’ is well and truly OUT!

Being a bride has always carried with it a certain elegance and beauty that those of us who have not been lucky enough to walk down the aisle can only dream of experiencing.

We imagine ourselves moving graciously down the flower adorned aisle or pathway to join our fabulous waiting partner as all our guests and loved ones look on in awe and shed a tear in response to the heart warming exchange between the couple - the loves of their lives.

With this in mind, how then did it ever become fashionable to transform into what we know as 'Bridezilla'?

The word itself brings to mind a horrific picture: A bride in a huge flouncy dress screaming and frothing at the mouth as others try desperately to tame and calm her outbursts. Is it really ever pleasant to have people see us this way on what should be our time to really shine?

Lets be real. Do you honestly want to be seen as an out of control, screaming, nasty bride to be, so feared by not only your bridesmaids, but also your friends and family that by the time the big day arrives they would much rather suffocate you than be part of your special day?

Or do you want to aspire to the persona of someone like Princess Kate Middleton (see where the word Bridecess came from?) who showed courtesy and good manners to all those around her and pulled it all off with such elegance and class? (or if you don't want to go that far, which is understandable, just be someone that puts on a good show and makes people feel welcome!)

We want to convince every one of you to aspire to be a gorgeous and glowing bride, one that is calm, in control and who leaves every person in the room thinking what a perfect choice the groom/partner has made.

Let the singles wish they were you or wish they had found you first. Let the elderly people comment on your glow and your fun, while the married women wish they had been so fabulous on their wedding day. Let your parents burst with pride at what a great job they have done and your in-laws feel grateful for the daughter they are gaining. Let your bridesmaids feel excited and privileged to have such a great friend and to have had an absolutely fabulous time helping you with this wedding. But most of all ,let your partner feel that they are absolutely the luckiest person alive to be the one standing beside you.

So......ditch that old Bridezilla (its so 2015) and find your inner Bridecess. Your friends, family, bridesmaids and soon to be marriage partner will all thank you for it.

We’ve put together a few ways that we think you can achieve the true title of ‘Bridecess’

1. Accept the fact that things will go wrong, they always do but it is the way you react to it that will determine whether it complete ruins your wedding or is remembered as merely a road bump on the way to a perfect day.

2. Surround yourself with loving and supportive people who will be there to help you and remind you of the real meaning of the day.

3. Be organised, plan and work out every detail so that nothing can pop up and stress you out.

4. Scheduling 'you' time that does not involve wedding planning and is relaxing and uplifting.

5. Throw out all the old sayings you have heard –

"You cant please them all so just please yourself",

"You can pick your friends but you cant pick your relatives".

“Weddings are as stressful as a death in the family"

All of these statements carry some degree of truth, but if you approach wedding planning in this negative frame of mind you will feel nothing but stress and anxiety. Of course you have to think about your guests and wedding party, it’s primarily your day but they are all playing a part and deserve to enjoy it too.

6. Lastly but most importantly don’t forget that you are a couple and this is supposed to be the happiest day of both of your lives. Imagine how it feels to be a partner about to marry thier true love only to see her go from being a wonderful person to a total out of control train wreck.

Do you want your tantrums, tears and bad behaviour to be etched in the memories of your guests when they recall your wedding day? or do want them to be using you as their example when they begin planning their day?

Queens, you've got this. 

The Wedding Gurus

xxx

 

 

Wedding Rituals and Traditions - The Wishing Stones

The Wishing Stone Ceremony

The ‘Wishing Stone' Ceremony is a wonderfully inclusive ritual to incorporate into your big day and is great for not just weddings, but any ceremony you may be considering.

I have performed it as part of a baby naming as well as for weddings. It basically involves using small polished stones, just large enough to write a small wish on if necessary.

Photo from: Intimateweddings.com

Usually the stones are given out by someone selected to perform the task (can be a great way of including children, by getting them to walk around and make sure everyone has a stone).

As the ceremony commences the guests are asked to hold the stones tightly and make a loving wish for the couple’s life together.

The stones can later be collected in a vase for the couple to keep as a memento of all of the wishes their loved ones and friends made for them or each person can be invited to come forward as part of the ceremony and place their stone – making their wish for the couple, in the vase.

Each stone represents a special wish that the couple can take with them to reflect on throughout their married life together.

Some couples may wish to go a little further and ask guests to write their wish on the stone, offering felt tipped pens for the guests and family to write their names and add their wish.

The Wedding Gurus xx

Writing your own wedding vows - a guide for planning

 Should we write our own vows?

If I had a dollar for every time couples asked me this question, let’s just say I would be lying on a beach in the Bahamas sipping a cocktail.

There is really no right or wrong answer to this question and it is honestly nothing more than a consideration of what kind of person you are and if you feel confident with words and your ability to deliver them in front of a live audience. One thing that I have definitely noticed is that the ladies are always far more eager to take on this task than the gentlemen. Why? I really have no idea but for some reason it almost always seems to be the case all but for a few exceptions.

When I sit down to put together a ceremony with a couple, the vows is always the section that takes us the longest to work through. There are lots of options and different methods of delivery and it’s often hard to decide in advance what your level of confidence will be like on the day.

The easiest way to do this is to break it down into 2 sections and they are Delivery and Content.

Firstly, delivery –    Do you want to repeat them after the celebrant or priest?

                                Read them from a card or

                                Recite them from memory

Making a decision about which method of delivery you will use greatly affects your content but we will look at that in a moment.

Secondly, content –  Do you want to write something personal from the heart

                                  Choose a standard vow(modern or traditional)

                                  Adapt/reword a standard vow or one personally written by someone else

Choosing a particular mode of delivery directly affects your choice of content due to the fact that if you really want to repeat the words after the Celebrant/Priest then 2-3 lines is about the maximum length you can use. Something personally written is usually not a good choice in this instance because it tends to be longer than 2-3 lines and does not come across well to guests. Vows longer than 2-3 lines are not pleasant when repeated because as you can imagine the guests feel like they are watching a tennis match, celebrant says a couple words, bride repeats the words, celebrant says a couple more words, Bride repeats and so on and on and on and then it’s the grooms turn to do it all over again!

Repeat: If you choose the option repeating after the Celebrant/Priest, by far the best idea is to choose either a short standard Vow or a personal vow that is no longer than about 3 lines in length (including the legal wording).

Read: If you are happy to read your Vows from a card then you are free to write anything you want as long as you ensure that the approx 2 lines that the Commonwealth stipulate must be said in order for your marriage to be valid (your celebrant or priest will discuss this with you).

HANDYHINT: If you decide to write your own vows then a great thing to bring it all to life is to write your vows to each other secretly and submitted them to the Celebrant/Priest separately so that the other does not know what will be said on the day. This is wonderful and adds an element of excitement for you as the couple on the day. I have seen this leave couples sobbing when the words are spoken.

Recite: The final option is to recite your vows from memory. When I got married many years  ago, I remember the Deacon who married us saying that we MUST learn our vows because it is the one thing that we have to do for ourselves on the day. I understand his point about he fact that each person should make the effort to at least remember what they want to say to the other, but in all honesty it ruined my experience of my ceremony because I was so petrified of forgetting the vows that it was all I could think about or concentrate on rather than really enjoying my wedding day and having all of my family and friends together.

Since then I have only ever had two couples who were absolutely sure that they wanted to recite their vows from memory and they were practising right up until the last moment and ………. in both cases I ended up having to prompt them through it. It is not because they just suddenly forgot, it is because it is very difficult to anticipate how powerful it is standing up there and the rollercoaster of emotions that is consuming you as you look at each other with all of your loved ones looking on.

My final bit of info on this topic is just a small caution. If you are going to write your own vows and especially if you are going to keep them secret, MAKE SURE that you are on the same page in terms of the tone. For example I had a couple who submitted their vows separately and while his was a full page of gushing about how divine his beautiful bride to be was and how he had fallen in love with her from the instant he saw her, when I read her vows my heart almost skipped a beat. Her vows were a hilarious account of their life together and all of his bad habits that disgusted her and drove her crazy and how she loved him for it. Both were great stories, but it would have been a disaster for him to give his loving speech only for her to follow with her comedy routine.

When deciding on what to choose for your vows, talk to each other about it and try to find an option that you are both comfortable with. A good Celebrant or Priest will always have a stack of options and ideas so rely on their expertise to guide you in the right direction.

If you have any problems or questions at all, feel free to comment. We're more than happy to help you out.

The Wedding Gurus xx

Wording for a Wedding Ceremony - Pagan Elements & Handfasting

If you're the kind of couple who haven't attended many weddings, it can be difficult to come up with ideas when it comes to thinking about your own wedding ceremony. It's easy to get caught up in planning the party, the food and the cake, but many forget that it is at the ceremony they actually become husband and wife. It is the words they say to each other and the declarations made in front of their guests that will be looked back upon as the years pass.

Usually your celebrant or officiant will provide you with plenty of options to consider for your ceremony, but a ceremony that has been personalised with some of the things that are truly special to the couple and reflect who they are always leave those in attendance with a sense of connection and sincerity. 

Today we thought we would bring you an actual ceremony that was put together by a couple who wanted to incorporate some Pagan elements to their day. We hope you enjoy it and we look forward to bringing you some more ceremony options.

The Ceremony

Welcome:

(Warming of the rings) On behalf of Andrew and Kathryn I would like to welcome you here today to celebrate with them as they pledge their commitment to one another in marriage. I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for being here and showing them your support.

 

Introduction:

We have come together here in celebration of the joining together of Kathryn and Andrew. There are many things to say about marriage. Much wisdom concerning the joining together of two souls, has come our way through all paths of belief, and from many cultures. With each union, more knowledge is gained and more wisdom gathered. Though we are unable to give all this knowledge to these two, who stand before us, we can hope to leave with them the knowledge of love and its strengths and the anticipation of the wisdom that comes with time.

 

The law of life is, love unto all beings. Without love, life is nothing, without love, death has no redemption. Love is anterior to Life, posterior to Death, initial of Creation and the exponent of Earth. If we learn no more in life, let it be this.

 

Marriage is a bond to be entered into only after considerable thought and reflection. As with any aspect of life, it has its cycles, its ups and its downs, its trials and its triumphs. With full understanding of this, Andrew and Kathryn have come here today to be joined as one in marriage.

 

Giving of the bride:

Celebrant: Others would ask, at this time, who gives the bride in marriage, but, as a woman is not property to be bought and sold, given and taken, I ask simply if she comes of her own will and if she has her family's blessing.

 

Celebrant: Kathryn, is it true that you come of your own free will and accord?

 

Kathryn: Yes, it is true.

 

Celebrant:  And with whose blessings accompany you. 

Bride's attendant: She’s accompanied with her father’s blessings.

 

Envoking the elements:

In times past it was believed that the human soul shared characteristics with all things divine. It is this belief which assigned virtues to the cardinal directions; East, South, West and North. It is in this tradition that a blessing is offered in support of this ceremony.

 

Blessed be this union with the gifts of the East. Communication of the heart, mind, and body Fresh beginnings with the rising of each Sun. The knowledge of the growth found in the sharing of silences.

 

Blessed be this union with the gifts of the South. Warmth of hearth and home The heat of the heart's passion The light created by both To lighten the darkest of times.

 

Blessed be this union with the gifts of the West. The deep commitments of the lake The swift excitement of the river The refreshing cleansing of the rain The all encompassing passion of the sea.

 

Blessed be this union with the gifts of the North Firm foundation on which to build Fertility of the fields to enrich your lives A stable home to which you may always return.

 

Each of these blessings from the four cardinal directions emphasizes those things which will help you build a happy and successful union. Yet they are only tools. Tools which you must use together in order to create what you seek in this union.

 

Any Legally Required Words

 

Reading: Why Marriage? - Mari Nichols-Haining

Why Marriage? Because to the depths of me, I long to love one person, with all my heart, my soul, my mind, my body .

 

Because I need a forever friend to trust with the intimacies of me, who won't hold them against me, who loves me when I'm unlikable, who sees the small child in me, and looks for the divine potential of me.

 

Because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the night with someone who is thankful, with someone I feel blessed to hold.

 

Because marriage means opportunity to grow in love in friendship.

 

Because, knowing this, I promise myself to take full responsibility for my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness, I create me, I take half of the responsibility for my marriage together we create our marriage.

 

Because with this understanding the possibilities are limitless.

 

  

The Handfasting:

Celebrant:  

Please join hands. As your hands are joined, so now are your lives.

Above you are the stars

below you are the stones

as time does pass

Remember

Like a star should our love be constant

Like a stone should your love be firm

Be close, but not too close

Posses one another, but be understanding

Have patience with one another

For storms will come, but they will go quickly

Be free in the giving of affection and warmth

Make love often, and be sensuous with one another

Have no fear and let not the ways or words

of the unenlightened give you unease for the Gods are with you.

 

Vows: 

I ask you now to exchange your vows. We’ll start with you Andrew.

 

Andrew:  I ask all present to witness that I, Andrew James Lane, take you, Kathryn Cameron, to be my lawful wife. I pledge to share my life openly with you, to speak the truth to you in love. I promise to honour and tenderly care for you, to cherish and encourage your own fulfilment as an individual for the rest of my life. I am honoured to call you my wife, my soul mate and I will love you unconditionally forever and some more.

 

And now it’s Kathryn’s turn.

 

Kathryn:  I ask all present to witness that I, Kathryn Cameron, take you, Andrew James Lane to be my lawful husband. I pledge to share my life openly with you, to speak the truth to you in love. I promise to honour and tenderly care for you, to cherish and encourage your own fulfilment as an individual for the rest of my life. I am honoured to call you my husband, my soul mate and I will love you unconditionally forever and some more.”

 

Celebrant:  Andrew and Kathryn have made their vows to each other in the presence of those dear to them; I then take this cord and bind them to those vows.

 

(Celebrant ties the ribbon around hands).

 

The Asking/Exchange of Rings

Celebrant Kathryn and Andrew, as these circles are designed without an ending, they speak of eternity. May the incorruptible substance of these rings represent a love glowing with increasing lustre through the years. Bless these rings which you give to each other as the sign of your love, trust, and faithfulness.

 

Celebrant: Andrew will you take Kathryn to be your wife and soul mate, to travel through all your lives together, to love, laugh, cherish, communicate and understand each other as long as love may last?

 

Andrew; I Will.

 

Celebrant to bride;

Kathryn will you take Andrew to be your husband and soul mate, to travel through all your lives together, to love, laugh, cherish, communicate and understand each other as long as love may last?

 

Kathryn; I Will.

 

Bride and groom say together

“Heart to thee, soul to thee, always and forever, so mote it be.

 

Celebrant: So mote it be

 

Guests: So mote it be.

 

Announcement:  Now that you have joined yourselves in marriage, may you strive always to meet this commitment with the same spirit you now exhibit. We all bear witness to this ceremony you have just performed, may the gods bless this union, and may the majesty of this earth protect you in your joined lives together. You may now kiss your bride.

 

Signing:

We will now be taking a few minutes to sign the legal paperwork. Please Feel free to take photos.

 

Presentation:

Having said that It now gives me great pleasure to introduce to you for the first time as a married couple……Andrew and Kathryn Lane.