The silent flower ritual is one of the simplest
and most basic rituals that may be included in a wedding ceremony, but it’s
significance and emotional depth are long remembered.
The silent flower ritual brings
significance to the roles of the mothers on this special day, that may
otherwise go unspoken and to all that they have contributed in the lives of the
couple present. In nurturing, loving and caring for each of them and in being
there to share this special day with them.
Once the guests are assembled and the
groom and celebrant are waiting for the bride, the entrance music begins and
the bride enters carrying her bouquet with 2 loose long stem flowers. As she
approaches her groom on her father’s (or whoever is escorting her) arm, she
lets go of him and walks silently over to her soon to be mother in law and
hands her one of the flowers, giving her a kiss on the cheek. She then walks
over to her own mother handing her a flower also and giving her a kiss on the
cheek.
No words are said during the ritual and
the bride then returns to her escort’s arm and continues to her groom.
The ritual, though silent, is very
meaningful and brings a tear to the eyes of guests and of course the mothers.
It is a truly wonderful way of honouring the mother’s role in the lives of the
couple and their importance on this day. The mothers are always very pleased,
particularly when they are not aware that it is going to take place.
Requirements:
Guest participation, medium sized plant pot and seedling
In most wedding
traditions, the main focus is naturally on the bride and groom, and where
appropriate, their children. They seek to convey the significance and beauty of
bringing two individuals together or in uniting a family. The ‘Earth Ritual’
does this, but it goes a little further by involving all of the family and
friends in attendance. They not only take part, but are asked to contribute and
it is this contribution that sets the foundation for the ritual.
When sending out
wedding invitations a small note is included, asking each guest to bring a
small container filled with some soil from around their home. (it only needs to
be a small amount, especially if it is a large celebration.)
A medium sized plant
pot and a seedling are placed on a nearby table. At a certain point in the
ceremony, the celebrant may introduce the ritual that is to be performed.
Example:
‘Amanda and Alex have
chosen to include a special ritual in their ceremony that involves all of you
as their loved ones – those people that they hold most dear.
Each of you has been
asked to bring a small amount of soil which was lovingly taken from your own
home, filled with love and hope, and today it is hoped that as each of you
place your earth into this vessel, it will retain that love.
Once the pot is full,
Amanda and Alex will plant the seedling that rests beside it, ready to grow and
be nourished by the love of all of you.
I would now like to
invite the parents and grandparents to come forward.’
(Once
they’ve finished)
‘If everyone else could
now please come forward.’
(When
everyone has added their earth)
‘Amanda and Alex – your
pot has now been filled with the love, hope and best wishes of all of your
family and friends. It has been taken from their own lives, their own homes and
now passed on to you as symbolic foundation of your future life together. As
you now plant the seedling, let its growth and beauty be a constant reminder of
the blending of your two lives and families and the love and support that they
have for you as they watch you grow together.’
(Couple
finish planting the seedling and the celebrant returns to the concluding of the
ceremony)
This ritual is easy to
do and very effective. As long as everyone participates, its significance is
beautiful and memorable. The wording can be changed and easily adapted to suit
all situations.
The ‘Unity Candle’
ceremony is becoming increasingly popular in modern and traditional weddings.
There are many versions of this ritual, some involving different people and entire families, but for this version, the conducting
of the ritual symbolizes the commitment of the bride and groom to each other and the merging of the two families.
As a general rule, 3 candles are required
to perform a unity candle ceremony; 1 large centre candle and 2 slim (or taper)
candles.
The Mothers of the
Bride and Groom may light the 2 taper candles. The Bride and Groom taking these
candles, proceed to light the single large candle, representing their two lives
and two families uniting as one.
The two single candles
may then be blown out to represent the extinguishing of their single lives, (or
they may be kept alight to signify that, although united through marriage they
still retain their individuality).
Requirements: 1 large Candle and 2 slim or taper Candles
Example Wording:
‘The lighting of these
family candles symbolise Caroline and Jacob’s separate lives and pasts before
today.
(Bride’s
and Groom’s Mothers light the candles).
Through the love,
support, wisdom and guidance which they have both received from their families,
they are here today to join their lives as one.
Caroline and Jacob,
with the light from your family candles, unite the two flames into one
(Bride
and Groom light centre candles).
The unity of this flame
symbolises the union of your separate lives and your families, into a commitment
made in love and kept in faith. The two of you now have a fire that represents
love, understanding and the future. It will give you warmth and happiness
through even the darkest times. This new fire represents a new beginning, a new
life and a new family.’
The candles can then
burn throughout the remainder of the ceremony being extinguished at the end.
There are many different versions of handfasting ceremonies that are used in different cultures around the world. The way you do it for your own ceremony is really up to you.
You can personalise the wording of any handfasting ritual, or write your own meaningful words to go with the binding of the hands.
To accompany our handfasting ceremony video below, we thought it would be helpful to provide you with the wording for a couple of the more popular wording variations.
You can checkout our video below or use some of the wording options we've provided.
Example 1:
Celebrant:‘Nicole and Gary have chosen to include a hand fasting ritual in their ceremony today as a symbol of their love Nicole and Gary please hold your hands, palms up, so you may see the gift that they are to each of you.’
(the hands are bound lightly by celebrant)
‘These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and vibrant with love, which are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other all the days of your life.
These are the hands that will work alongside of yours, as together you build your future, as you laugh and cry, as you share your innermost secrets and dreams.
These are that hands which will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.
These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy.
These are the hands which will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief engulfs your heart.
These are the hands that will give you support and encourage you to chase down your dreams. Together as a team, everything you wish for can be realised.
This binding represents the love that has bound you together to this point. It will continue to bind you to one another until the binding of your rings takes it place.’
The ceremony continues with the couple’s hands bound until the ring exchange at which point the celebrant removes the binding, and the rings then take its place as their binding for life.
Example 2:
Celebrant: Please join hands. As your hands are joined, so now are your lives. (Celebrant binds the hands)
Above you are the stars
below you are the stones
as time does pass
Remember
Like a star should your love be constant
Like a stone should your love be firm
Be close, but not too close
Posses one another, but be understanding
Have patience with one another
For storms will come, but they will go quickly
Be free in the giving of affection and warmth
Make love often, and be sensuous with one another
Have no fear and let not the ways or words
of the unenlightened give you unease for the Gods are with you.
Hands remain bound until the ring exchange.
Example 3: Handfasting with Children
Celebrant: 'When we think about marriage we immediately visualize the joining of two people. But this is not always so. Marriages unite families and as is the case in many families today, who already have children, they give us a wonderful opportunity to celebrate and embrace some of the other important relationships in our lives.
During a wedding ceremony rings are sometimes exchanged with a promise. As (Bride) and (Groom) are not exchanging rings, but instead binding their hands, they thought appropriate that their children should also take part as reminder of their promise to them on this day.
They wanted to find a way to let them know now how special and wonderful they are, and how privileged and blessed they feel to be their parents.
Children step forward and their hands are bound with the parents
Celebrant addresses children:
(Insert children’s names) These are the hands that will support encourage and protect you through all of life’s ups and downs, happy times, sad times, love and we hope, great joy. This binding is a reminder of the love and respect that each of you have for the others and that which will last for a lifetime.
With so many couples finding love
later in life or when they already have children, Family Unity Rituals are fast
becoming not only popular, but important in bringing a sense of commitment,
readiness and togetherness to the wedding ceremony and to each member
who is trying to find their places in the new family structure.
This example is a simple way of including the children in making
the commitment and leaving each member of the family with a lasting reminder of
their inclusion.
At the point in the ceremony where the couple have exchanged their
rings the celebrant will say:
"Could I now ask Jasmine and Sarah to please come
forward? Jake, can we please have the rings?"
(The children can either know about this or it can be a surprise
for them. For a boy who would prefer not to wear a ring, he may be given
the ring on a chain to wear around his neck or something else appropriate.)
"Jasmine and Sarah, today your parents are making a
life-long commitment to share the rest of their lives with each other as a
couple, but they could not make those promises wholeheartedly without including
the two of you. Not only are they making their vows to each other, but also to
both of you to live the rest of each of your lives connected to one another
always. (Mum & dad to place the rings on the girl’s fingers).
The relationship that you each have with the other members of this
family are symbolized with the rings that you each now wear. Each one is
perfectly round with no beginning or end and is made of the strongest metal.
Today they represent everything that your parents hope for this family. For there
to be no end and for this family to be made of the strength, love and
commitment that each of you bring to it today.
May this togetherness never be broken and may your lives always be
blended and intertwined with each other’s in happiness, hope and prosperity.
