Wedding Rituals and Traditions - Hindu - The Seven Steps Tradition

 

A traditional Hindu ceremony, in most cases, is quite extravagant and beautiful, incorporating many different rituals and traditions. It is often filled with chanting and Sanskrit blessings dating back to a time long ago. The wedding ceremony is known as 'Samskara', and in India, it can last for days or even weeks. In the West these ceremonies have been modified, they are usually a little less extravagant, but can still last over two hours.

Requirements:  Sari, Fire, Puffed Rice

The central component of a Hindu wedding ceremony is 'Saptapadi', or the 'Seven Steps'. In this ritual the Bride’s Sari is tied to the Groom’s Kurta. Alternatively, a shawl may be draped from his shoulder to her sari. The couple then link ‘pinky’ fingers and the Groom leads his Bride in seven steps around a ceremonial fire.

While this is taking place the celebrant chants the seven blessings and vows for a strong union. These are adapted here in English from the Hindu ceremony.

Example:

1. “May this couple be blessed with an abundance of resources and comforts, and be helpful to one another in all ways.

2. May this couple be strong and complement one another.

3. May this couple be blessed with prosperity and riches on all levels.

4. May this couple be eternally happy.

5. May this couple be blessed with a happy family life.

6. May this couple live in perfect harmony… true to their personal values and their joint promises.

7. May this couple always be the best of friends.”

With each step, they throw small pieces of puffed rice into the fire, representing prosperity in their new life together. The action of walking around the fire indicates that they agree to these seven blessings. This is considered the most important part of the ceremony as it seals the bond forever.

This ancient ritual can be easily adapted into a contemporary civil marriage ceremony with the use of an ornamental pot of fire that can be placed on a small table. The bride and groom can then take seven steps around the table, while the seven blessings are spoken in English.

It is not necessary to be Hindu to incorporate a ritual such as the Seven Steps in a marriage ceremony. Rituals and Traditions are becoming ever popular, with couples all over the world trying to find a ritual that is different and unique, that will make their ceremony memorable. As long as they remain respectful of the culture to which the ritual belongs, the use of it then makes for a beautiful and meaningful experience for all.

Silent Flower Ritual

The silent flower ritual is one of the simplest and most basic rituals that may be included in a wedding ceremony, but its significance and emotional depth are long remembered.

The silent flower ritual brings significance to the roles of the mothers on this special day, that may otherwise go unspoken and to all that they have contributed to the lives of the couple present. In nurturing, loving and caring for each of them and in being there to share this special day with them.

Once the guests are assembled and the groom and celebrant are waiting for the bride, the entrance music begins and the bride enters carrying her bouquet with 2 loose long stem flowers. As she approaches her groom on her father’s (or whoever is escorting her) arm, she lets go of him and walks silently over to her soon-to-be mother-in-law and hands her one of the flowers, giving her a kiss on the cheek. She then walks over to her own mother handing her a flower also and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

No words are said during the ritual and the bride then returns to her escort’s arm and continues to her groom.

The ritual, though silent, is very meaningful and brings a tear to the eyes of guests and of course the mothers.  It is a truly wonderful way of honouring the mothers' role in the lives of the couple and their importance on this day. The mothers are always very pleased, particularly when they are not aware that it is going to take place.

The Wedding Gurus

xxx

Wedding Ceremony planning

 

Let’s talk Ceremonies

To keep it upbeat and light I thought I would talk about ceremonies in general. Keep in mind that while couples spend months and thousands of dollars on their receptions, they sometimes forget about the ceremony. Of course the party and dancing are wonderful, but don’t forget that what you are there for is to actually commit to one another for life. Your family and guests aren’t just there for the free food and entertainment (although if your family is anything like mine, they may well be), they are there to see you make that commitments to one another. A good ceremony will envoke an emotive response in your guests with laughter and tears and warm memories.

So many clients come to me having absolutely no idea about how to plan their wedding ceremony, what the legal requirements are or how to put together something special and memorable which is what we all want, right?

The first question I usually ask them is “have you attended many ceremonies before?” Often the answer is no and it is at this point we start with a completely blank canvas and begin to build a fantastic ceremony from scratch.

Sometimes though, the answer is yes, so the next question I ask them is “thinking back to those ceremonies, what did you like, what did you dislike and were there any points during the ceremony that you felt like pulling your fingernails out with boredom?”

This is always a great place to start. It’s easy to pick someone elses ceremony to pieces so the best way to make yours great is to analyse those that you yourself have attended. It’s not about being mean, but about recognising what inspires and uplifts you and how you can put some of your own personalities into your big day so that it really reflects who you are as individuals and as a couple.

Once we have established a list of like’s and dislike’s then we are ready to start making some plans. There are so many choices, but the most important thing to establish before proceeding is if you want a more traditional ceremony or something modern and different. If you really want to stick with a traditional format, then there are plenty of things that you can incorporate to make it beautiful and most importantly your own. If you really want something different and modern however, then the world is your oyster so to speak!

There are so many considerations, such as the length of the ceremony, the wording, giving of the bride, readings, vows whether or not to include a ritual and the list goes on……

So what is the order of a ‘usual’ ceremony?

Well it goes something like this, but is open to modification:

 

 › Opening music details:

 › Details of Bridal parties entrance

› The Welcome: (Celebrant usually writes this – just 1-2 lines)

› Any announcements about having an unplugged ceremony - no photos or social media

› Acknowledgement of loved ones that are passed or can't be present

› Giving of the Bride:

› Introduction:

› 1^st Reading: To be read by:

› Celebrant’s legal words (where required)

› The Asking:

› The Vows: 

› The Ring Ceremony: 

› Details of any traditions/rituals/symbolism/blessings: 

› 2^nd Reading: To be read by:

› Declaration by Celebrant:

› Signing of Marriage Certificate & Register

› Presentation of Bride and Groom as Mr & Mrs

› Any announcements for guests - group photos or petal archway etc

 

So this is just a guide and as long as all of the legal requirements are met (depending on which country you live in of course) then you can add and remove things to suit your needs.

In future blogs I will address each of these sections individually and in more depth, so please post your comments or any questions and I am happy to answer or help in any way.

Top 100 Wedding Songs!

Choosing songs for your wedding can be a challenging task and it can become a really stressful one if you have no idea where to start.  

So, we have put together our  top 100 songs for you to help you make some choices. Feel free to let us know if there is one you love that we haven’t included.

 

1.               Don't Wanna Miss A Thing - Aerosmith

2.               You're Still The One - Shania Twain 

3.               Truly Madly Deeply - Savage Garden

4.               Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

5.               Amazed - Lonestar

6.               Angels - Robbie Williams

7.               When You Say Nothing At All - Ronan Keating

8.               Everything I Do (I Do It For You) - Bryan Adams

9.               I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston

10.           You're Beautiful - James Blunt

11.           Shania Twain - From This Moment

12.           Van Morrison - Have I Told You Lately

13.           All About Loving You - Bon Jovi

14.           Can You Feel The Love Tonight - Elton John

15.           Tonight I Celebrate My Love - Peobo Bryson and Roberta Flack

16.           I Can’t Help Falling in Love with You – Elvis Presley

17.           Just the Way You Are – Billy Joel

18.           Endless Love – Lionel Richie and Diana Ross

19.           Dream Come True – Frozen Ghost

20.           Unforgettable - Natalie & Nat King Cole

21.           After All - Peter Cetera & Cher

22.           All My Life - Linda Ronstadt

23.           All My Life - KC & JoJo

24.           Always - Atlantic Star

25.           Always & Forever - Heatwave

26.           A Whole New World - Peabo Bryson & Regina Belle

27.           Back At One - Bryan McKnight

28.           Beautiful In My Eyes - Joshua Kadison

29.           Because You Loved Me - Celine Dion

30.           Breathe - Faith Hill

31.           Can't Help Falling In Love - Elvis Presley

32.           Chances Are - Johnny Mathis

33.           Colour My World - Chicago

34.           Could I Have This Dance - Anne Murray

35.           Crazy - Patsy Cline

36.           Don't Know Much - Linda Ronstant & Aaron Neville

37.           Faithfully - Journey

38.           Forever - Mariah Carey

39.           Forever and Ever, Amen - Randy Travis

40.           From Here To Eternity - Michael Peterson

41.           Groovy Kind Of Love - Phil Collins

42.           Grow Old With Me - Mary Chapin Carpenter

43.           Hawaiian Wedding Song - Andy Williams

44.           Here & Now - Luther Vandross

45.           I Can Love You Like That - John Michael Montgomery or All-4-One

46.           I Could Not Ask For More - Edwin McCain

47.           I Cross My Heart - George Strait

48.           I Do (Cherish You) - 98 Degrees or Mark Wills

49.           I Don't Want To Miss A Thing - Aerosmith

50.           I Finally Found Someone - Bryan Adams & Barbara Streisand

51.           I Knew I Loved You - Savage Garden

52.           I'll Be - Edwin McCain

53.           I'll Still Be Loving You - Restless Heart

54.           I Love The Way You Love Me - John Michael Montgomery

55.           In This Life - Colin Raye

56.           I Only Have Eyes For You - Art Garfunkel

57.           It Had To Be You - Harry Connick Jr.

58.           It's Your Love - Tim McGraw & Faith Hill

59.           I Swear - John Michael Montgomery or All-4-One

60.           Keeper Of The Stars - Tracy Byrd

61.           Lady In Red - Chris Deburgh

62.           Look At Us - Vince Gill

63.           Love Me Tender - Elvis Presley

64.           Love Can Build A Bridge - Judds

65.           Love Of A Lifetime - Firehouse

66.           Love Of My Life - Sammy Kershaw

67.           Masterpiece - Atlantic Starr

68.           Moonlight Serenade - Glenn Miller

69.           Moon River - Andy Willams

70.           More Than Words - Extreme

71.           More Than Words Can Say - Alias

72.           My Best Friend - Tim McGraw

73.           One In A Million - Larry Graham

74.           Only You - Platters

75.           Open Arms - Journey

76.           Power Of Love - Celine Dion

77.           Saving The Best For Last - Vanessa Williams

78.           Sea Of Love - Honeydrippers

79.           Stand By Me - Ben E. King

80.           Still The One - Shania Twain

81.           Take My Breath Away - Berlin

82.           That's Amore - Dean Martin

83.           That's What Friends Are For - Dionne Warwick

84.           The Time Of My Life - Bill Medley

85.           The Way You Look Tonight - Frank Sinatra

86.           Through The Eyes Of Love - Melissa Manchester

87.           Through The Years - Kenny Rogers

88.           To Make You Feel My Love - Garth Brooks

89.           True Companion - Marc Cohn

90.           Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers

91.           Up Where We Belong - Joe Cocker

92.           Valentine - Martina McBride

93.           Waiting For A Girl - Foreigner

94.           We've Only Just Begun - Carpenters

95.           What A Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong

96.           When A Man Loves A Woman - Percy Sledge or Michael Bolton

97.           When I Fall In Love - Nat King Cole or Celine Dion

98.           When I Said I Do - Clint Black & Lisa Hartman-Black

99.           When You Say Nothing At All - Keith Whitley 

100.        Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Midler

101.        Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton

102.        You & I - Eddie Rabbitt & Crystal Gayle

103.        You Are So Beautiful - Joe Cocker

104.        You Had Me At Hello - Kenny Chesney

105.        You're The Inspiration - Chicago

106.        You're Love Amazes Me - John Berry

107.        Your Song - Elton John

108.        You've Got A Friend - James Taylor

109.        You've Got A Way - Shania Twain

 

We hope you find a few that you like in this list. Feel free to add some more.

The Wedding Gurus are back!

 

Hello again!

It was a long time ago that we first created the Wedding Gurus to bring helpful tips and advice to couples getting married. We shared so many ideas and of course, all of the knowledge (and learning) that we had gained over the years from working in the wedding industry. We also brought you some good informative videos that demonstrated how to do different wedding rituals and traditions and let's not forger how badly edited and cringeworthy some of them were! (They're still on YouTube by the way!)

Coming back to this feels like coming home. We've taken a big break due to weddings, kids, losing loved ones and just trying to do life like everyone else is, but we're here now and we intend to bring you some great ideas and helpful posts that will make your planning a little easier.

As a marriage and funeral celebrant Susan has decades of real life experience doing weddings and  expertise in wedding rituals and traditions. Reach out, ask a question or get in touch if you need a little extra help. We'd love to hear from you.

As authors, we'll also be working in some writing stuff - writing vows, writing your own ceremony or even keeping written journals or other writing of important life events. 

We've called this blog 'The Wedding Gurus Premium' because we want to bring you the best of our old content and a whole heap of new stuff, so stay tuned.

We can't wait to get started!

The Wedding Gurus

xx