We live in a truly amazing time. A
time of technology and instant access to, well, everything. If we want it, we
can usually get it there and then and if we can’t we can probably at least
order it online there and then! But there is one thing that continues to elude
some in the fast-paced rat race we call life and that is of course ….Love.
In days long past it might have been as simple as glancing across
a room and locking eyes with that one person who locked eyes back while for
others, like a very great love story, it involved some kind of struggle or
adversity, but in the end love triumphed. BUT for others, the all elusive ‘love’
has become stressful, fraught with anxiety, stress, worry and confusion.
We may live in an age where we can see everyone’s profile, what
they look like and, irritatingly, what they had for breakfast, but with the
rising number of divorces, growing depression and loneliness and general
feelings of detachment that many singles are feeling when it comes to finding
love are we really better off?
When you speak to your grandparents and in some cases even your
parents about how they met, they speak of local dances, or double dating and
chaperoned trips to the movies. People seemed to fall in love more often and easier
without the complication of his/her ugly profile pic or finding some differing
political view after stalking their Facebook profile. Somehow, it seems, that
society now finds it acceptable for each person to have a ‘list’ and hard copy
or mental page of tick boxes that a potential lover must at least be able to
fill the majority of the page.
Someone I know, who shall remain nameless (for fear she will kill
me), has one such list. It’s extensive, complicated and to be honest utterly
unrealistic. Yet she stands by said list with vigour and should a potential
date not tick one of the major items then he is out the door without a second
thought. Strange? Apparently not, because it seems that more and more are
adopting just such an approach.
In Shanghai, there are actually organised ‘Expo’s’ that offer
singles seeking an ‘appropriate’ partner the opportunity to not only come
along, but bring their entire family in order to find Mr or Mrs Right. It’s
called the Annual Love and Marriage Expo, but there seems to be very little
love in the atmosphere at these events that feel more like and business or
career event.
According to CNN these gatherings, which attract a staggering
amount of singles – in the thousands, are so big that they have to be held in a
shopping complex! With as many parents roaming around looking for ‘suitable’
candidates for their children as there are singles themselves, many flock to
the many billboards that display not only pictures, but essential information
such as age, height, education and yes, you guessed, that most important piece,
annual income.
With speed dating on offer for many who have never even had a date
before, love, romance and the old-fashioned, ‘getting to know each other' are
not only forgotten, but seem impossible.
While we might laugh or scoff at how absurd it sounds, we need to
ask ourselves, is this merely a more extreme version of ticking all the boxes?
Is this what many singles with long lists of criteria are doing anyway? Perhaps
it is a little more subtly or justified as trying to weed out Mr or Mrs Wrong,
but are we in fact treating love and chemistry as something of a job and person
specification? Could we be cheating ourselves out of finding the absolute most
perfect person for us simply because a box or two has not been ticked?
Food for thought!
