The silent flower ritual is one of the simplest
and most basic rituals that may be included in a wedding ceremony, but it’s
significance and emotional depth are long remembered.
The silent flower ritual brings
significance to the roles of the mothers on this special day, that may
otherwise go unspoken and to all that they have contributed in the lives of the
couple present. In nurturing, loving and caring for each of them and in being
there to share this special day with them.
Once the guests are assembled and the
groom and celebrant are waiting for the bride, the entrance music begins and
the bride enters carrying her bouquet with 2 loose long stem flowers. As she
approaches her groom on her father’s (or whoever is escorting her) arm, she
lets go of him and walks silently over to her soon to be mother in law and
hands her one of the flowers, giving her a kiss on the cheek. She then walks
over to her own mother handing her a flower also and giving her a kiss on the
cheek.
No words are said during the ritual and
the bride then returns to her escort’s arm and continues to her groom.
The ritual, though silent, is very
meaningful and brings a tear to the eyes of guests and of course the mothers.
It is a truly wonderful way of honouring the mother’s role in the lives of the
couple and their importance on this day. The mothers are always very pleased,
particularly when they are not aware that it is going to take place.
The ‘Stone Ceremony’ is a tradition that takes us back to a much simpler time, when gold was far less affordable and not readily available to hard working people. Instead of an exchange of rings, the bride and groom would cast stones, etched with ancient Nordic runic symbols, into a nearby water source, most commonly a river, lake or sea.
While couples today can
usually afford and easily access rings to celebrate their nuptials, the meaning
and sentiment behind the casting of the stones can be a wonderful addition to a
wedding ceremony. This ritual can be performed in either of its traditional
settings or easily adapted to the modern era, with the use of a fountain, pond
or something similar and the stones can be made by the couple themselves or
purchased online.
***
Requirements: 2 stones, a river or brook (or a pond)
Example:
“Many early settlers on
Australian soil had very little wealth and did not have access to the fine
things that life now has to offer. They could not afford the symbolic
presentation and exchange of rings that we see at a modern wedding ceremony. To
show their love, eternal commitment and to confirm their vows, they would
instead each cast a stone into a nearby river or ocean. The water was a natural
and lasting reminder that symbolised their intention of remaining together
forever, while the tides of time ebbed and flowed over their lives, with joy
and sorrow, highs, lows and great love. John and Alice will now cast two stones
into the brook behind us. The stones they have chosen for this ceremony have
been etched with ancient Nordic symbols, called 'Runes'.
The use of Rune stones
today is deliberate and John and Alice have chosen the symbols that are
significant for them. Rune stones hold strong meanings and symbolise the
merging of past cultures, with the joining together of these two lives as one.
The red stone, carved
with the rune 'Berkana'.
This is a rune of new birth
and new beginnings. Although it can be indicative of an actual birth or
marriage it can also refer to personal growth and development and prosperity.
It can indicate the start of something special and the cleansing of doubts
before moving forward.
The Gold stone, carved
with the rune 'Ansuz',
Represents blessing and
joy, a time for new beginnings and to expect the unexpected. It offers harmony,
order and Wisdom.These symbols remind
us that, we must always move forward and openly accept the unexpected things
that life may cast our way. We must ride the ebbs and flows of the tide
together.
John and Alice, please
now cast your stones.
***
We hope you enjoy and feel a sense of connection to place when using this type of ritual in you ceremony. If you do use it, we'd love to see some pics!
Requirements:
Guest participation, medium sized plant pot and seedling
In most wedding
traditions, the main focus is naturally on the bride and groom, and where
appropriate, their children. They seek to convey the significance and beauty of
bringing two individuals together or in uniting a family. The ‘Earth Ritual’
does this, but it goes a little further by involving all of the family and
friends in attendance. They not only take part, but are asked to contribute and
it is this contribution that sets the foundation for the ritual.
When sending out
wedding invitations a small note is included, asking each guest to bring a
small container filled with some soil from around their home. (it only needs to
be a small amount, especially if it is a large celebration.)
A medium sized plant
pot and a seedling are placed on a nearby table. At a certain point in the
ceremony, the celebrant may introduce the ritual that is to be performed.
Example:
‘Amanda and Alex have
chosen to include a special ritual in their ceremony that involves all of you
as their loved ones – those people that they hold most dear.
Each of you has been
asked to bring a small amount of soil which was lovingly taken from your own
home, filled with love and hope, and today it is hoped that as each of you
place your earth into this vessel, it will retain that love.
Once the pot is full,
Amanda and Alex will plant the seedling that rests beside it, ready to grow and
be nourished by the love of all of you.
I would now like to
invite the parents and grandparents to come forward.’
(Once
they’ve finished)
‘If everyone else could
now please come forward.’
(When
everyone has added their earth)
‘Amanda and Alex – your
pot has now been filled with the love, hope and best wishes of all of your
family and friends. It has been taken from their own lives, their own homes and
now passed on to you as symbolic foundation of your future life together. As
you now plant the seedling, let its growth and beauty be a constant reminder of
the blending of your two lives and families and the love and support that they
have for you as they watch you grow together.’
(Couple
finish planting the seedling and the celebrant returns to the concluding of the
ceremony)
This ritual is easy to
do and very effective. As long as everyone participates, its significance is
beautiful and memorable. The wording can be changed and easily adapted to suit
all situations.
One of the most popular
rituals performed in wedding ceremonies today is the ‘Unity Sand Ritual’. The
rite can be performed by the couple alone, but is more often used
when there are children from previous relationships or when the couple already
have children of their own. The Unity Sand Ritual is a wonderfully unifying
ritual; simple yet meaningful.
Requirements: A sand kit including - clear glass vase or goblet and different coloured sand in ornamental bottle for each person involved.
The glass vase is
placed in the centre of a small table at the ceremony’s location. To add a
personal touch it can be accessorised, or engraved with the couple’s initials
or names and the wedding date.
Two of the smaller
vases, containing different coloured sands, are placed either side of the
central vase, one for the bride and one for the groom. These sands can be in
the wedding colours.
During the sand
ceremony, the celebrant will verbally direct the couple to take turns to pour
the sand from their individual vases into the central vase, creating a layered
effect. If children are participating, they will then be invited to pour their
own colours, to mark their inclusion as part of a loving family.
Finally the couple will
pour the remainder of the sand into the vase at the same time so that the two
colours combine and can’t be separated, symbolising the unassailable strength
of their union. A poem or reading can be recited at the same time as the sand
is poured.
Tip: If the ceremony takes place
at a beach the celebrant may take some sand from the ground and pour it as the
final layer to represent the location where the couple solemnised their
family’s unity and commitment.
Example:
‘Jane and Daniel have
chosen to include a symbolic ritual in their ceremony today called the Unity
Sand Ritual. Could I ask Rebecca and Shane to bring Brayden and Sarah forward.
Jane, Daniel, Brayden
and Sarah, today you are making a life-long commitment to share the rest of
your lives with each other as a family. The relationship that you each have
with the other members of this family is symbolized through the pouring of
these four individual containers of sand; One, representing you Jane and one
representing you Daniel and all that you were, all that you are and all that
you will ever be. The other two representing your two beautiful children
Brayden and Sarah and all that they have been and have meant to you and the
unlimited potential for what they may become.
As each of you hold
your sand, the separate containers represent your individual and unique lives
up to this point. As you now combine your sand together, your lives also join
together as one. I ask you now to individually pour half of your sand into the
container. We will start with you Daniel.
Just as these grains of
sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so
will your marriage and your family be.
I now ask that you all
pour your remaining sand into the container together. May this togetherness
never be broken and may your lives always be blended and intertwined with each
other’s in happiness, hope and prosperity.’
Here is a little video of what this might look like:
In this day and age many couples still like the idea and tradition of the Giving of the Bride, but perhaps not what is stands for or the wording that goes with it.
If the bride wants someone to escort her down the aisle, she can choose instead to modify the wording to a more modern version.
Any wording can be used, but here is a sample we prepared for you as an idea:
Celebrant addresses
person escorting bride (attendant)
Cel Others would ask, at this time, who gives the bride in marriage, but, as a
woman is not property to be bought and sold, given and taken, I ask simply if
she comes of her own will and if she has her family's blessing.
Celebrant: Rachel, is it true that
you come of your own free will and accord?
Rachel: Yes, it is true.
Celebrant:And with whose blessings accompany you?
Bride's attendant: She’s accompanied
with her father’s blessings.
The ‘Unity Candle’
ceremony is becoming increasingly popular in modern and traditional weddings.
There are many versions of this ritual, some involving different people and entire families, but for this version, the conducting
of the ritual symbolizes the commitment of the bride and groom to each other and the merging of the two families.
As a general rule, 3 candles are required
to perform a unity candle ceremony; 1 large centre candle and 2 slim (or taper)
candles.
The Mothers of the
Bride and Groom may light the 2 taper candles. The Bride and Groom taking these
candles, proceed to light the single large candle, representing their two lives
and two families uniting as one.
The two single candles
may then be blown out to represent the extinguishing of their single lives, (or
they may be kept alight to signify that, although united through marriage they
still retain their individuality).
Requirements: 1 large Candle and 2 slim or taper Candles
Example Wording:
‘The lighting of these
family candles symbolise Caroline and Jacob’s separate lives and pasts before
today.
(Bride’s
and Groom’s Mothers light the candles).
Through the love,
support, wisdom and guidance which they have both received from their families,
they are here today to join their lives as one.
Caroline and Jacob,
with the light from your family candles, unite the two flames into one
(Bride
and Groom light centre candles).
The unity of this flame
symbolises the union of your separate lives and your families, into a commitment
made in love and kept in faith. The two of you now have a fire that represents
love, understanding and the future. It will give you warmth and happiness
through even the darkest times. This new fire represents a new beginning, a new
life and a new family.’
The candles can then
burn throughout the remainder of the ceremony being extinguished at the end.
It is almost certain that everyone would be familiar with this wedding
tradition. Even though it has become commonplace at most wedding ceremonies,
many would be surprised by the extent of the numerous variations to this
theme.
The Giving Away of the bride has a long history. In
Roman times, it was the custom for a young woman to be under the authority and
protection of the head of her household; this would usually have been her
father or elder brother. When she married, that responsibility was then passed
to her husband. This was the origin of the ‘Giving away’ ceremony.
Times certainly have changed, but we retain this
ancient custom with a somewhat new cultural meaning. Nowadays it is considered
as the perfect occasion when the father- daughter relationship is acknowledged.
It also allows the families and friends of the Bride and Groom to show their
approval and support for the union.
Below are 2 examples of common wording, and in a
later post we'll share with you a more modern version for those that don't like
the wording/concept of 'giving away'.
Examples:
1. Celebrant addresses person giving
bride away:
‘Who brings this woman to be married to this man?’
Person replies: ‘I do’ (Then steps forward
and joins the other guests.)
2. If both the Bride’s and Groom’s
parents are involved, the celebrant will ask them to stand, and addresses the
guests as follows:
‘Who brings this man to stand beside this woman?’
Groom’s Parents ‘We do’
‘And who brings this woman to stand beside this
man?’
Bride’s Parents ‘We do’
‘Are you willing now and always to support and
strengthen this marriage by upholding both Lindsay and Lisa with your love and
support?’
All parents: ‘We are’
3. When the father is the giving the
bride away, the celebrant may say:
‘When thinking about this moment people will often
ponder on what are the real values in life, and come to decide what it is that
really matters — it is human relationships. One of the deepest, yet understated
relationships in life is that between the caring father and his loving
daughter, and one of the rare occasions that this relationship has the
opportunity to be openly acknowledged is at a wedding ceremony.
(Insert Father’s name) represents his family and all of us here today, but in a special
gesture on this important occasion he symbolises his own personal love for his
daughter and their journey together to this point.
So mindful of these values and of that love I now
ask him, who brings this woman to be married to this man?’
Father: ‘I do’
He then joins the other guests
The Wedding Gurus xx
Look out for future posts and modern versions of
this topic.
There are many different versions of handfasting ceremonies that are used in different cultures around the world. The way you do it for your own ceremony is really up to you.
You can personalise the wording of any handfasting ritual, or write your own meaningful words to go with the binding of the hands.
To accompany our handfasting ceremony video below, we thought it would be helpful to provide you with the wording for a couple of the more popular wording variations.
You can checkout our video below or use some of the wording options we've provided.
Example 1:
Celebrant:‘Nicole and Gary have chosen to include a hand fasting ritual in their ceremony today as a symbol of their love Nicole and Gary please hold your hands, palms up, so you may see the gift that they are to each of you.’
(the hands are bound lightly by celebrant)
‘These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and vibrant with love, which are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other all the days of your life.
These are the hands that will work alongside of yours, as together you build your future, as you laugh and cry, as you share your innermost secrets and dreams.
These are that hands which will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.
These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy.
These are the hands which will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief engulfs your heart.
These are the hands that will give you support and encourage you to chase down your dreams. Together as a team, everything you wish for can be realised.
This binding represents the love that has bound you together to this point. It will continue to bind you to one another until the binding of your rings takes it place.’
The ceremony continues with the couple’s hands bound until the ring exchange at which point the celebrant removes the binding, and the rings then take its place as their binding for life.
Example 2:
Celebrant: Please join hands. As your hands are joined, so now are your lives. (Celebrant binds the hands)
Above you are the stars
below you are the stones
as time does pass
Remember
Like a star should your love be constant
Like a stone should your love be firm
Be close, but not too close
Posses one another, but be understanding
Have patience with one another
For storms will come, but they will go quickly
Be free in the giving of affection and warmth
Make love often, and be sensuous with one another
Have no fear and let not the ways or words
of the unenlightened give you unease for the Gods are with you.
Hands remain bound until the ring exchange.
Example 3: Handfasting with Children
Celebrant: 'When we think about marriage we immediately visualize the joining of two people. But this is not always so. Marriages unite families and as is the case in many families today, who already have children, they give us a wonderful opportunity to celebrate and embrace some of the other important relationships in our lives.
During a wedding ceremony rings are sometimes exchanged with a promise. As (Bride) and (Groom) are not exchanging rings, but instead binding their hands, they thought appropriate that their children should also take part as reminder of their promise to them on this day.
They wanted to find a way to let them know now how special and wonderful they are, and how privileged and blessed they feel to be their parents.
Children step forward and their hands are bound with the parents
Celebrant addresses children:
(Insert children’s names) These are the hands that will support encourage and protect you through all of life’s ups and downs, happy times, sad times, love and we hope, great joy. This binding is a reminder of the love and respect that each of you have for the others and that which will last for a lifetime.
![](Image by <a href="https://pixabay.com/users/usesense-1849987/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=2407339">usesense</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com//?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=2407339">Pixabay</a>img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhyxgQ-ZSGgvkNkMsPsPR9SXXpAqJn7hxqSUIKTBL_-mC2k31aou1R1PZXi7M55-OsuADYZ0WUoVI2OYppiaZC3bzd31n9--IlAgk-fzZQCy_C17_pTMSxH_GyrTLLmmIpaasbAk3HRy37KOHfKijU2lmMthOr21rP2bZiRjYF72DnraFsBtqnPwq_/s921/Rune%20Stones.JPG)
