Wedding Rituals and Traditions - The Giving of the Bride

 

It is almost certain that everyone would be familiar with this wedding tradition. Even though it has become commonplace at most wedding ceremonies, many would be surprised by the extent of the numerous variations to this theme. 

The Giving Away of the bride has a long history. In Roman times, it was the custom for a young woman to be under the authority and protection of the head of her household; this would usually have been her father or elder brother. When she married, that responsibility was then passed to her husband. This was the origin of the ‘Giving away’ ceremony.

Times certainly have changed, but we retain this ancient custom with a somewhat new cultural meaning. Nowadays it is considered as the perfect occasion when the father- daughter relationship is acknowledged. It also allows the families and friends of the Bride and Groom to show their approval and support for the union. 

Below are 2 examples of common wording, and in a later post we'll share with you a more modern version for those that don't like the wording/concept of 'giving away'.

Examples:

1. Celebrant addresses person giving bride away:

‘Who brings this woman to be married to this man?’

Person replies: ‘I do’ (Then steps forward and joins the other guests.)

 

2. If both the Bride’s and Groom’s parents are involved, the celebrant will ask them to stand, and addresses the guests as follows:

‘Who brings this man to stand beside this woman?’

Groom’s Parents ‘We do’

‘And who brings this woman to stand beside this man?’

Bride’s Parents ‘We do’

‘Are you willing now and always to support and strengthen this marriage by upholding both Lindsay and Lisa with your love and support?’

All parents: ‘We are’

 

3. When the father is the giving the bride away, the celebrant may say:

‘When thinking about this moment people will often ponder on what are the real values in life, and come to decide what it is that really matters — it is human relationships. One of the deepest, yet understated relationships in life is that between the caring father and his loving daughter, and one of the rare occasions that this relationship has the opportunity to be openly acknowledged is at a wedding ceremony.

(Insert Father’s name) represents his family and all of us here today, but in a special gesture on this important occasion he symbolises his own personal love for his daughter and their journey together to this point.

So mindful of these values and of that love I now ask him, who brings this woman to be married to this man?’

Father: ‘I do’

He then joins the other guests

 

The Wedding Gurus xx

Look out for future posts and modern versions of this topic.

Silent Flower Ritual

The silent flower ritual is one of the simplest and most basic rituals that may be included in a wedding ceremony, but its significance and emotional depth are long remembered.

The silent flower ritual brings significance to the roles of the mothers on this special day, that may otherwise go unspoken and to all that they have contributed to the lives of the couple present. In nurturing, loving and caring for each of them and in being there to share this special day with them.

Once the guests are assembled and the groom and celebrant are waiting for the bride, the entrance music begins and the bride enters carrying her bouquet with 2 loose long stem flowers. As she approaches her groom on her father’s (or whoever is escorting her) arm, she lets go of him and walks silently over to her soon-to-be mother-in-law and hands her one of the flowers, giving her a kiss on the cheek. She then walks over to her own mother handing her a flower also and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

No words are said during the ritual and the bride then returns to her escort’s arm and continues to her groom.

The ritual, though silent, is very meaningful and brings a tear to the eyes of guests and of course the mothers.  It is a truly wonderful way of honouring the mothers' role in the lives of the couple and their importance on this day. The mothers are always very pleased, particularly when they are not aware that it is going to take place.

The Wedding Gurus

xxx

Creative ways to remember lost loved ones in your ceremony

Many couples about to wed have a mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, brother or sister who have passed and cannot be there to celebrate with them on their special day. 

It can be very important to a lot of couples to remember these people by adding a special gesture somewhere throughout their day. However, getting the balance right between acknowledgement and keeping it light and simple so as not to over-upset the couple or the guests, is important.

We have compiled a list of ideas in this video and if you have an idea to add to this list please feel free to share it with us as a comment below: 

The Wedding Gurus