Ditch the Bridezilla and be a total Bridecess

 

Yes we made it up, but ‘Bridecess’ is our new favourite word!

... July is upon us and it has prompted our thoughts to turn to wedding trends and ideas for 2023.

 Now this may be somewhat controversial given the society we live in, our love of good drama, and the popularity of some TV shows, but it is our belief (The Wedding Gurus) that

‘Bridezilla’ is well and truly OUT!

Being a bride has always carried with it a certain elegance and beauty that those of us who have not been lucky enough to walk down the aisle can only dream of experiencing.

We imagine ourselves moving graciously down the flower adorned aisle or pathway to join our fabulous waiting partner as all our guests and loved ones look on in awe and shed a tear in response to the heart warming exchange between the couple - the loves of their lives.

With this in mind, how then did it ever become fashionable to transform into what we know as 'Bridezilla'?

The word itself brings to mind a horrific picture: A bride in a huge flouncy dress screaming and frothing at the mouth as others try desperately to tame and calm her outbursts. Is it really ever pleasant to have people see us this way on what should be our time to really shine?

Lets be real. Do you honestly want to be seen as an out of control, screaming, nasty bride to be, so feared by not only your bridesmaids, but also your friends and family that by the time the big day arrives they would much rather suffocate you than be part of your special day?

Or do you want to aspire to the persona of someone like Princess Kate Middleton (see where the word Bridecess came from?) who showed courtesy and good manners to all those around her and pulled it all off with such elegance and class? (or if you don't want to go that far, which is understandable, just be someone that puts on a good show and makes people feel welcome!)

We want to convince every one of you to aspire to be a gorgeous and glowing bride, one that is calm, in control and who leaves every person in the room thinking what a perfect choice the groom/partner has made.

Let the singles wish they were you or wish they had found you first. Let the elderly people comment on your glow and your fun, while the married women wish they had been so fabulous on their wedding day. Let your parents burst with pride at what a great job they have done and your in-laws feel grateful for the daughter they are gaining. Let your bridesmaids feel excited and privileged to have such a great friend and to have had an absolutely fabulous time helping you with this wedding. But most of all ,let your partner feel that they are absolutely the luckiest person alive to be the one standing beside you.

So......ditch that old Bridezilla (its so 2015) and find your inner Bridecess. Your friends, family, bridesmaids and soon to be marriage partner will all thank you for it.

We’ve put together a few ways that we think you can achieve the true title of ‘Bridecess’

1. Accept the fact that things will go wrong, they always do but it is the way you react to it that will determine whether it complete ruins your wedding or is remembered as merely a road bump on the way to a perfect day.

2. Surround yourself with loving and supportive people who will be there to help you and remind you of the real meaning of the day.

3. Be organised, plan and work out every detail so that nothing can pop up and stress you out.

4. Scheduling 'you' time that does not involve wedding planning and is relaxing and uplifting.

5. Throw out all the old sayings you have heard –

"You cant please them all so just please yourself",

"You can pick your friends but you cant pick your relatives".

“Weddings are as stressful as a death in the family"

All of these statements carry some degree of truth, but if you approach wedding planning in this negative frame of mind you will feel nothing but stress and anxiety. Of course you have to think about your guests and wedding party, it’s primarily your day but they are all playing a part and deserve to enjoy it too.

6. Lastly but most importantly don’t forget that you are a couple and this is supposed to be the happiest day of both of your lives. Imagine how it feels to be a partner about to marry thier true love only to see her go from being a wonderful person to a total out of control train wreck.

Do you want your tantrums, tears and bad behaviour to be etched in the memories of your guests when they recall your wedding day? or do want them to be using you as their example when they begin planning their day?

Queens, you've got this. 

The Wedding Gurus

xxx

 

 

Is your partner just not getting it when it comes to wedding planning?

 Is your partner just not getting it when it comes to wedding planning?

The wedding Gurus like to keep up on all the gossip around town when it comes to wedding planning and one thing that we see on a regular basis is where one partner is struggling to get the other to come to the party when it comes to planning their big day and spending a little money.

Now, we say spending a little money, but we all know that weddings can begin to burn a hole in those hardworking pockets pretty darn quick. In many situations your partner is probably right to try and keep things in check and make sure that costs are staying within the agreed budget (did you make one of those in the first place? If not, now might be a good time)

But what we’re hearing is that some brides are struggling with partners who are not only irritated and overwhelmed by the planning of it all, but also want the whole thing done and dusted on a few hundred dollars and this is causing some real relationship stress for some couples.

So, if your partner is finding the whole wedding planning stage a bit too much what are some strategies for dealing with it before it gets to breaking point?

1. Ask them to set aside a specific time to have a chat about things. In the lead up to that time, try not to harp on about he wedding or costs or anything else. Where possible, be the couple you’ve always been and save the wedding talk for the allocated time.

2. When you do sit down at the arranged time, be prepared. Have a list of things that need to get sorted out and tackle them one at a time. Having an agreed total budget amount will definitely make it easier to make decisions and ensure that both of you are clear about what is expected. The budget is definitely the first thing to tackle and this can take some time, so have some estimates ready in order to help your case and ensure the budget is realistic.

3. Some people just don’t love this stuff, so if you have a partner who is struggling with the ‘big picture’ visuals that you have in mind, you might need to take it slow, perhaps show them some pictures and be willing to negotiate. It’s so easy to get caught up with flower walls, lighting backdrops and chandelier candelabras, but if you’re mortgaging your house to pay for it, then some things might have to go. Be prepared to listen to what they think and scale back on some things that may be a little over the top.

4. Have a set list (yep another one!) of things that you each need to do or be a part of. For example, your partner may need to organise the fittings for the outfits, the transport, alcohol and a number of other things. And you will be organising the invites, hair trials, etc. Include the tasks that you will also need to do together, eg, seeing the caterer, photographer, celebrant etc. It is also a good idea to have required completion dates next to each task so that you both have a timeframe to work within.

5. Once you’ve had your set time to chat about all of the wedding details and plans, try to let it fall into the background while you each work from your list. No one likes to constantly be asked where they’re at and if things have been done, especially is the topic is a little sensitive and one partner is feeling a little ‘managed’. When the tasks reach their completion date, check in and see if they have been done and re-visit the next set of tasks in the planning.

Planning a wedding can be great fun for a couple, but it can also be absolutely awful and bring about a questioning of the relationship. Try to remember that we each have different ideas and place different values on things and sometimes your partner may not be completely on the same page as you. While one partner may have been dreaming of the perfect white wedding, a gigantic cake and a wall covered in flowers, the other might be placing more value on having family and fiends present and committing their lives to the other person. Marriage, after the party, is constant negotiation and compromise so now is a great time to get some practice!

Good luck xx