We love sharing our ideas for wedding rituals and traditions that can be easily performed without too much hassle. This one, The Cup of Life, is idea behind it is really lovely.
The ‘Cup of Life’ is a symbolic ritual that signifies the bride and groom as individuals coming together as one through the sharing of wine.
Requirements:
Goblet, Bottle of wine
An open bottle of wine
is placed along with a glass on a nearby table. The cup is representative of
‘life’ while the wine represents the good times and bad with both sweet and
bitter elements. The sentiment is that any bitterness is lessened and any
sweetness is doubled or heightened because it is shared.
Example:
‘Glenn and Pauline have
chosen to include a symbolic gesture in their ceremony today called ‘’Sharing
the cup of Life’ Glenn could you please pour the wine and take a drink and then
hand the cup to Pauline to drink.
This glass of wine is
symbolic of the cup of life. As you share this wine, you promise to share all
that the future may bring. All the sweetness the cup of life may hold for you
should be sweeter because you drink it together; and whatever drops of
bitterness it may contain should be less because they are shared. We wish you
all the blessings that life can bring-joy and gladness, love and companionship,
happiness and prosperity all the days of your life’
The ‘Cup of Life’ is a
simple and easy ritual/tradition to perform and is always well received by
guests.
One of the most popular
rituals performed in wedding ceremonies today is the ‘Unity Sand Ritual’. The
rite can be performed by the couple alone, but is more often used
when there are children from previous relationships or when the couple already
have children of their own. The Unity Sand Ritual is a wonderfully unifying
ritual; simple yet meaningful.
Requirements: A sand kit including - clear glass vase or goblet and different coloured sand in ornamental bottle for each person involved.
The glass vase is
placed in the centre of a small table at the ceremony’s location. To add a
personal touch it can be accessorised, or engraved with the couple’s initials
or names and the wedding date.
Two of the smaller
vases, containing different coloured sands, are placed either side of the
central vase, one for the bride and one for the groom. These sands can be in
the wedding colours.
During the sand
ceremony, the celebrant will verbally direct the couple to take turns to pour
the sand from their individual vases into the central vase, creating a layered
effect. If children are participating, they will then be invited to pour their
own colours, to mark their inclusion as part of a loving family.
Finally the couple will
pour the remainder of the sand into the vase at the same time so that the two
colours combine and can’t be separated, symbolising the unassailable strength
of their union. A poem or reading can be recited at the same time as the sand
is poured.
Tip: If the ceremony takes place
at a beach the celebrant may take some sand from the ground and pour it as the
final layer to represent the location where the couple solemnised their
family’s unity and commitment.
Example:
‘Jane and Daniel have
chosen to include a symbolic ritual in their ceremony today called the Unity
Sand Ritual. Could I ask Rebecca and Shane to bring Brayden and Sarah forward.
Jane, Daniel, Brayden
and Sarah, today you are making a life-long commitment to share the rest of
your lives with each other as a family. The relationship that you each have
with the other members of this family is symbolized through the pouring of
these four individual containers of sand; One, representing you Jane and one
representing you Daniel and all that you were, all that you are and all that
you will ever be. The other two representing your two beautiful children
Brayden and Sarah and all that they have been and have meant to you and the
unlimited potential for what they may become.
As each of you hold
your sand, the separate containers represent your individual and unique lives
up to this point. As you now combine your sand together, your lives also join
together as one. I ask you now to individually pour half of your sand into the
container. We will start with you Daniel.
Just as these grains of
sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so
will your marriage and your family be.
I now ask that you all
pour your remaining sand into the container together. May this togetherness
never be broken and may your lives always be blended and intertwined with each
other’s in happiness, hope and prosperity.’
Here is a little video of what this might look like:
In this day and age many couples still like the idea and tradition of the Giving of the Bride, but perhaps not what is stands for or the wording that goes with it.
If the bride wants someone to escort her down the aisle, she can choose instead to modify the wording to a more modern version.
Any wording can be used, but here is a sample we prepared for you as an idea:
Celebrant addresses
person escorting bride (attendant)
Cel Others would ask, at this time, who gives the bride in marriage, but, as a
woman is not property to be bought and sold, given and taken, I ask simply if
she comes of her own will and if she has her family's blessing.
Celebrant: Rachel, is it true that
you come of your own free will and accord?
Rachel: Yes, it is true.
Celebrant:And with whose blessings accompany you?
Bride's attendant: She’s accompanied
with her father’s blessings.
The ‘Box of Memories is a beautiful way for a couple to capture their thoughts and feelings about marriage and most importantly, about their love for each other.
Requirements:
A wooden box, nails, a bottle of wine, 2 glasses and 2 handwritten letters
In the days leading up
to the wedding, the couple select a decorative wooden box and some nails,
making sure that it is large enough to hold a bottle of wine and 2 glasses and
sturdy enough to stand the test of time. Together also, they select a bottle of
their favourite wine and 2 glasses that can be placed in the box in advance.
On the eve of the
wedding, each takes a little time out from the busy-ness and excitement, and
spends a few minutes writing a letter to their soon-to-be partner expressing
their feelings, what they are thinking, what they love about them and their
hopes and dreams for the future. The letters are then sealed in an envelope.
During the ceremony,
the celebrant will explain to the guests what the couple have done, and as they
watch both place their sealed letters into the box and hammer in the nails one
by one in turn, will tell them of their plans to open the box on the day the
10th wedding anniversary, when they will share the wine and read the letters.
Example Wording:
Jasmine and Daniel your
commitment to each other today is obvious and evident to all of us as you stand
before us now. With your vows declared and your rings exchanged, you have made
a public demonstration of your commitment and love, but there is something more
that you have chosen to do as a reminder of this day, that will be a source of
great comfort and joy.
(Couple
walk over to the table with the box, hammer and nails)
‘In this box you have
placed some items that you have lovingly chosen together. A strong and sturdy
box that has plenty of room for all the things you need and is sturdy enough to
stand the test of time, just as your marriage will be. Inside you have placed 2
glasses and a bottle of wine, whose sweetness will remind you of all of the
happy times you shared together, when you open it together on your 10 year
wedding anniversary. I ask you now to please place the letters that you have
written for each other on the eve of this day and seal the box with the nails.’
(Couple
begin to hammer the nails)
‘May this box be a
reminder of the love you shared today and upon its opening – on your 10 year
wedding anniversary, as you sip the wine, let it serve to rekindle every bit of
spirit and joy that is present in your heart as you stand here today. As you
read the letters, let the words contained in them stay with you forever,
through whatever storm may come, and be forever grateful to have shared it with
all of those you hold dear.
One of the most common
and recognised wedding traditions has to be ‘Something Old, Something New,
Something Borrowed, Something Blue’ – and if you are going all the way then
‘And a Sliver Sixpence in her Shoe.’
Requirements: The 5 specified items
Of the many thousands
of traditions that have come and gone over the centuries, this old English
rhyme from the Victorian era is one that has truly endured, and for some reason
is still the most popular of all wedding rituals & traditions in our modern
society.
‘Something Old’ is said
to symbolise the special connection that the bride has with her own family, to
her origins and her past, that she will continue to maintain. ‘Something Old’ –
allows the bride to choose something that is meaningful from the family,
perhaps an heirloom or a piece of her grandmother’s, (or other family member’s)
jewellery. Another option, far more popular in the past than in recent times,
is the wearing of a wedding gown belonging to her mother or grandmother.
‘Something New’
signifies that if the bride has something new, then good fortune and success
will be in abundance as she begins her new life with her husband. ‘Something
new’ can be anything of her choosing, but if she is not wearing a dress from
the past, then her new wedding dress is often a good choice.
‘Something Borrowed’ is
a reminder to the bride of her strong friendships and family bond. The
borrowing of an item will give her a sense that she will have love and support
whenever she may need it, and always have others to lean on when times are
tough. The borrowed item is most often something that is easily concealed, worn
or able to fit in a small purse.
‘Something Blue’ is a
symbol of love, faithfulness, modesty, fidelity and loyalty. In ancient times
blue was the colour that represented all of these.Brides often wore blue wedding gowns in those
times and today still honour this by wearing a blue garter.
‘A Silver Sixpence in
her Shoe’ A sixpence is an old pre-decimal coin which, if concealed in her
shoe, was said to bring to the bride the good wishes of loved ones for
financial security and happiness. For the best of fortune, she should be sure
to wear it in her left shoe. In modern times any other silver coin may be used
as a substitute, but there are places that sell keepsake sixpences for
weddings.
Tradition has it that a
bride who carries these objects will ensure that she is blessed with a happy,
long and prosperous married life. While we love this tradition and all of its
sentiment, if a bride finds herself without one of these items, she may choose
to begin a new tradition with what she has rather than see it as an omen. Every
bride is beautiful and lucky on her big day!
The ‘Unity Candle’
ceremony is becoming increasingly popular in modern and traditional weddings.
There are many versions of this ritual, some involving different people and entire families, but for this version, the conducting
of the ritual symbolizes the commitment of the bride and groom to each other and the merging of the two families.
As a general rule, 3 candles are required
to perform a unity candle ceremony; 1 large centre candle and 2 slim (or taper)
candles.
The Mothers of the
Bride and Groom may light the 2 taper candles. The Bride and Groom taking these
candles, proceed to light the single large candle, representing their two lives
and two families uniting as one.
The two single candles
may then be blown out to represent the extinguishing of their single lives, (or
they may be kept alight to signify that, although united through marriage they
still retain their individuality).
Requirements: 1 large Candle and 2 slim or taper Candles
Example Wording:
‘The lighting of these
family candles symbolise Caroline and Jacob’s separate lives and pasts before
today.
(Bride’s
and Groom’s Mothers light the candles).
Through the love,
support, wisdom and guidance which they have both received from their families,
they are here today to join their lives as one.
Caroline and Jacob,
with the light from your family candles, unite the two flames into one
(Bride
and Groom light centre candles).
The unity of this flame
symbolises the union of your separate lives and your families, into a commitment
made in love and kept in faith. The two of you now have a fire that represents
love, understanding and the future. It will give you warmth and happiness
through even the darkest times. This new fire represents a new beginning, a new
life and a new family.’
The candles can then
burn throughout the remainder of the ceremony being extinguished at the end.
It is almost certain that everyone would be familiar with this wedding
tradition. Even though it has become commonplace at most wedding ceremonies,
many would be surprised by the extent of the numerous variations to this
theme.
The Giving Away of the bride has a long history. In
Roman times, it was the custom for a young woman to be under the authority and
protection of the head of her household; this would usually have been her
father or elder brother. When she married, that responsibility was then passed
to her husband. This was the origin of the ‘Giving away’ ceremony.
Times certainly have changed, but we retain this
ancient custom with a somewhat new cultural meaning. Nowadays it is considered
as the perfect occasion when the father- daughter relationship is acknowledged.
It also allows the families and friends of the Bride and Groom to show their
approval and support for the union.
Below are 2 examples of common wording, and in a
later post we'll share with you a more modern version for those that don't like
the wording/concept of 'giving away'.
Examples:
1. Celebrant addresses person giving
bride away:
‘Who brings this woman to be married to this man?’
Person replies: ‘I do’ (Then steps forward
and joins the other guests.)
2. If both the Bride’s and Groom’s
parents are involved, the celebrant will ask them to stand, and addresses the
guests as follows:
‘Who brings this man to stand beside this woman?’
Groom’s Parents ‘We do’
‘And who brings this woman to stand beside this
man?’
Bride’s Parents ‘We do’
‘Are you willing now and always to support and
strengthen this marriage by upholding both Lindsay and Lisa with your love and
support?’
All parents: ‘We are’
3. When the father is the giving the
bride away, the celebrant may say:
‘When thinking about this moment people will often
ponder on what are the real values in life, and come to decide what it is that
really matters — it is human relationships. One of the deepest, yet understated
relationships in life is that between the caring father and his loving
daughter, and one of the rare occasions that this relationship has the
opportunity to be openly acknowledged is at a wedding ceremony.
(Insert Father’s name) represents his family and all of us here today, but in a special
gesture on this important occasion he symbolises his own personal love for his
daughter and their journey together to this point.
So mindful of these values and of that love I now
ask him, who brings this woman to be married to this man?’
Father: ‘I do’
He then joins the other guests
The Wedding Gurus xx
Look out for future posts and modern versions of
this topic.
